| My eight-year-old informed me yesterday that I am no | | | | your child's self-esteem is on tender-hooks at this age. |
| longer allowed to call him "bear" in public. Or kiss him | | | | He is suddenly aware of other people's opinions and is |
| good-bye. Or refer to myself as "mommy" in | | | | incredibly keen to feel accepted and important. One of |
| conversations with him. A few minutes later, he looks | | | | the ways to foster his self-esteem is to discover what |
| at me out of the corner of his eye and asks, "Mom, | | | | he is really good at and encourage him. Whether its |
| are you a little sad that I'm growing up so fast?" He's | | | | scholastics or sports or computers or R/C cars - |
| entirely satisfied with my quick affirmative. | | | | encourage him to excel at something. The other critical |
| Later on that evening at bedtime, he only wants | | | | piece to self-esteem is parent's unconditional love and |
| cuddles and kisses. He wants me to bring him some | | | | undivided attention. Love the child you have and make |
| water. He asks for an extra hug before he goes to | | | | sure he knows that your love is beyond conditions on |
| sleep. He wonders if I have any lotion for his sunburn. | | | | behavior or skills or achievement. Spend one-on-one |
| This is so normal, this dance back and forth from | | | | time with your child, even if it's only for a few minutes, |
| independence to neediness. Major individuation and | | | | every single day.o Health: by the age of eight, your |
| separation from the family happens in fits and starts | | | | child is spending more and more time away from |
| for every child. You see it in toddler-hood, around the | | | | home. Make sure she knows how to make healthy |
| age of eight, again at fifteen and, often, again in the | | | | choices about food, friends and feelings. Talk to her |
| twenties. As a parent, these can be gut-wrenching, yet | | | | about the choices you make around physical health. |
| freeing, times. As our children perform this dance it's up | | | | What foods are healthy? How do you choose to |
| to us parents to sit back and let them lead. | | | | exercise? Why should she not smoke or do drugs? |
| Eight years old is an amazing age and parenting these | | | | What is alcohol and what choices do you make |
| creatures is a bitter-sweet joy. My son is still my | | | | around drinking? Make sure she is hanging around |
| fun-loving boy, sensitive and sweet, but with a twinkle | | | | people who are good for her. What are toxic |
| of mischief in his eyes. But at times, I feel like I'm | | | | relationships? Why do you choose the friends you |
| parenting a hormonal teen: moody and silent at times, | | | | have? Have you ever stopped being friends with |
| not as communicative as usual, more aware of the | | | | someone who wasn't healthy for you? Talk to your |
| ramifications of behavior and clothes and (sigh) girls. | | | | child about healthy relationships. And lastly, make sure |
| As a parent, the most important thing we can do at | | | | she is in touch with her feelings and knows how to |
| this time is to be a constant source of love, keeping a | | | | process through them. Does she know to check in |
| sense of humor (but without teasing or treading on | | | | with her body to see how she is feeling? (Emotions will |
| tender feelings). There are three other aspects you | | | | always register with some part of the body.) Does she |
| must keep in mind at this important time in your child's | | | | know that she is in charge of her choices about what |
| life:o Empowerment: at this age, your child must be | | | | she does with her feelings? Does she know that she |
| empowered to make good decisions for herself. | | | | is empowered to change her circumstances and her |
| Teach her how to check in with her mind, heart and | | | | thinking? Make sure your child is in touch and in control |
| body before making decisions. What does she think? | | | | of her heart and mind. |
| How does she feel? How does her body react when | | | | This is an important time in your child's life. I've given |
| she thinks about her choices? Begin with small things, | | | | you a lot to work with and think about. Trust yourself |
| like food choices and play dates, and build up to larger | | | | and trust the process. But most of all, be sure to |
| decisions, like whether or not to take music lessons or | | | | empower your child to make good choices as he flies |
| if she should try out for the school play. Being | | | | from the nest and always offer him your unconditional |
| empowered to make healthy choices is key to your | | | | love. |
| child finding her balance in the world.o Self-Esteem: | | | | |