Parenting Management

"Most children are raised by amateurs, notteach social skills, but rather,
professionals."to teach people how to learn. A college diploma most
- Bryce's LawINTRODUCTIONWant to know what todefinitely does not
expect of the work force in the years ahead? Lookmean the graduate is socially well-adjusted, but that
no fartherhe/she has learned to study
than our schools or homes. Let me preface myand accept new ideas. If anything, the student's
remarks by saying that in additionextracurricular activities tell
to all of my other responsibilities, I was very active inmore about a person's personality than the degree
my local Little League for aitself. For example, participation
number of years where I served as coach, umpire,in team sports, club activities, or Greek life speaks
and on the local board ofvolumes about a person's
directors. Further, I have been very active locally inpersonality and social skills.PAST EFFORTSIn the
offering Masonic scholarships topast, new corporate recruits underwent special training
High School students. In addition, my wife has beenprograms to learn how
active in the local school systemthe company conducts business. Sales people in
for the last ten years at the elementary, middle, andparticular had to undergo rigorous
high school levels (this alsotraining to learn how to present products and care for
included PTA and SAC). Although we probably won'tthe customers. Workmen
win an award as the world'sunderwent training to learn how to build quality
best parents, we made a point of becoming anproducts. However, such programs
important and influential part of ourhave been slashed in recent times as a means for
children's lives. We didn't take any special courses incutting costs (and will be the subject
parenting, we just gotof a future paper).There was also a period where
involved. But we are the exceptions as opposed tomentors were assigned to new employees to
the rule.Prior to World War II, the country waschaperone
immersed in an economic depression whichthem on their journey through the corporate world.
put a strain on families and disrupted our society.Mentors were basically a
Everyone in a family was expected"Big Brother/Sister" program where senior employees
to pitch in and do their part in order to survive, thiswould offer sage advice
included going to school and theirto neophytes on adapting to the corporate world. But
place of worship. Some families suffered severelike the training programs,
hardships during this period causingmentoring is also being phased out.Although mentoring
children to drop out of school and go to work. Theyand training programs were intended to develop the
didn't drop out as some formemployee's
of rebellion or protest, but to simply earn money toskills and effectiveness from a corporate perspective,
help support the family. Consequently,neither dwelled on the personal
many earned nothing higher than a Junior High diplomaproblems of the employee.Now that new employees
which was prized by manyare left to fend for themselves, a generation gap is
families. The point is, there was a sense of familyemerging
back then and the people's hungerin business. Managers from just about every job
built character. They understood the value of a dollar,segment are frustrated with new
worked hard and squanderedemployees, and, likewise, new employees are
nothing. It was this generation that got us through thefrustrated with management. Whereas
war and propelled the countrymanagers lament how little is accomplished by new
towards economic success in the latter part of theemployees, new employees
20th century.In the 1950's and 1960's, as the countrycomplain how much time they are putting in at work.
was experiencing an economic boom, a parentThis highlights a significant
normally stayed at home to manage the family,difference between the generations: whereas the
usually the wife. If a childnew employees are watching the
had a problem, a parent was always home to tend toclock, the managers are watching what is produced.
their needs. Children no longerThe two are not synonymous,
had to drop out of school to support the family andbut nobody has taught the young employees this yet.
our High Schools and CollegesTo the "newbies," their time is
swelled with students. The "baby boomers" werewhat is important, regardless if they produce anything
considered well adjustedworthwhile or not; to the manager,
and readily adapted to the work force. Thisit is just the opposite. Also, young people believe calling
generation saw us through the spacein sick is an acceptable form of
race and the technology revolution which changed thebehavior. Where did they learn all this? On their own. It
face of corporate America.But in the last threeis a sad state of affairs when
decades, we began to lose faith in our economy andthe media has more influence over the values of our
ourchildren than parents do. But
standard of living. As a result, both parents began towhen adults abdicate parenting to the media, it is not
work inordinate hours and aentirely surprising.So, what is needed? More training?
generation gap began to emerge. Exhausted by theirMentoring? Nope. Just some parenting. The sooner
work, the parentscorporations realize this, the sooner they can begin to
would return home where the last thing they wanteddevelop mature and responsible
to hear was their child'semployees. Again, this is why the military now
problems. Consequently, children became socialteaches its Drill Instructors basic
outcasts in their own homes andcounseling techniques, so they can help new recruits
often had to fend for themselves; they simply couldn'tfind their way through life and become
relate with their parents. Sure,a good soldier. It is most definitely not "baby-sitting" but,
the parents would sign their kids up for Summerrather, a recognition that parents
Camp, Little League and Soccer, buthave dropped the ball in their child's development and
this was viewed more as baby-sitting services assomeone has to pick up the
opposed to taking a true interest inpieces in order for the newbie to realize their potential.I
the child's development. They would also give theirdo not claim to have a Ph.D. in parenting, but as I see it
kids television sets and video gamesthere are three primary
to occupy their time.Today, school teachers haveduties a parent needs to inculcate:* Role Model - first,
become surrogate parents by default, somethinga parent has to be a good role model with attributes
they weren't trained for, nor inclined to accept. Talk totheir subordinateswant to aspire to attain. Role models
a teacher and you will hearare respected for their authority and becomea highly
stories of lack of respect for authority, poor manners,credible source of information and inspiration,* Teacher
and dysfunctional social- second, a parent has to be able to teach, not just
intercourse. Children today no longer learn their valuesacademic lessons butthose of life; e.g., morality,
from their parentssocialization, even finances (e.g., balancing acheckbook,
but rather from Hollywood. As young adults enteringlife insurance, etc.). It is the teacher who establishes the
the work force, their workrules andregulations of the classroom and, as such, is
ethic, values, and behavior are noticeably differentalso the disciplinarian.* Guidance Counselor - third,
than the prior generation. Thereparenting includes guiding others on their path
is no longer a sense of quality, service, orthroughlife, explaining options and making
craftsmanship; just put in your time andrecommendations.Very important, a parent has to
collect a paycheck. This is all having an adverserecognize they won't have all of the answers, but
effect on how we conductshould know how to point someone in the right
business and the corporate culture.Now, let me givedirection to get the answers they need.Above all else,
you a the scary figure: probably 20%, or less, ofa parent has to care about the welfare of their
today'soffspring. I am not
graduating High School seniors are socially wellsuggesting corporate parents love their children like
adjusted.Knowing this, what should you do as abiological parents, but they
manager?THE NEED FOR PARENTINGIn the past, ifneed to invest time in the person, believe in the
you were a new employee, it was assumed youperson, and motivate them
knew how to manageaccordingly, whether through kindness or a good swift
your personal life and you were expected to adapt tokick in the rear. The
the corporate culture. Thiscorporate parent has to also know when their work is
is no longer true and presents a problem forcomplete and allow the
managers. Younger employees todayoffspring to move on to the next stage of their
have problems managing money, dressingcorporate life.The military has the advantage of written
appropriately, and interpersonal relationscontracts and boot camps to
and communications, not to mention alcohol, drugs, andindoctrinate new recruits. Perhaps a corporate boot
sex. They are raw and rough. Butcamp could be devised
are they salvageable? They better be, for yourand teach the same lessons as found in the military,
company's sake, as they representsuch as:* Cause and effect, e.g., if you make a
tomorrow's work force.Perhaps we can take amistake, you know you will be penalized accordingly.*
lesson from the military services here. The military isThe value of good workmanship and its impact on
well aware they are not getting the "cream of theothers.* How to give and take an order.* Discipline and
crop" when they take on newcode of conduct.*
recruits. Many are social misfits coming from brokenTeamwork.CONCLUSIONCompanies today are at a
homes. As such, theloss coping with the newest generation of
military's initial role is to break the individual of badworkers. What they don't realize is, it will get worse
habits and impose a newbefore it gets better. Since
system of discipline and work ethic. Individualism ismost biological parents are content with allowing
replaced by teamwork and,others to teach their children
in the process, a sense of belonging and family isthe necessary values in life, teachers, the military and
imposed. This is either readilycorporations are forced to
accepted by the new recruit or they are drummedpick up the slack, like it or not. The sooner we admit
out of the service. Discipline,this, the sooner we can address
organization, teamwork, and a strong work ethic canhow to remedy the situation. Whether this involves
have a dramatic affect on aone-on-one counseling or a
drifting soul. By doing so, it can bring order to lives andboot camp type of environment, something has to be
a sense of purpose,done to teach our newest wave
something that perhaps was neglected atof workers the proper values to succeed in business
home.Today's Drill Instructors and junior officers alsoand in life.Let me leave you with a real-life story on
find themselves as surrogate parentsparenting in the workplace. Some time
and are now instructed in counseling young soldiers.ago I was visiting with a CIO in Columbus, Ohio who
The boot camps of today aretook me on a tour of
a lot different than what the country experiencedhis facility. Along the way, we happened upon a
during World War II, Korea, andyoung programmer who
Viet Nam. Yet, we are producing a fine class ofwas new to the company. Frankly, he looked a little
soldiers which makes our countrywet behind the ears and
proud. In other words, they must be doing somethinghad long hair over his collar. After the CIO introduced
right.If we have learned anything from the military in thisme to the young man, he
regard, it is that theinstructed him to go get a haircut. The young
times have changed and our employees today haveprogrammer, shot back
different needs requiringindignantly, "You can't say that to me!"The CIO turned
a new type of manager who can adequately tend tocalmly but deliberately to the programmer, and said,
them. And like today's"Yes I can. Watch," then pointing to his mouth, "Get a
Drill Instructors and school teachers, managers arehaircut. Now!"The programmer backed down and, to
finding themselves in thehis credit, dutifully got a haircut.I had just witnessed a
role of surrogate parents, like it or not. Managerslittle "Parenting Management" in action. The CIO
bristle at this notion. After all,exercised his authority and had quickly instructed the
they want to get on with their business and do notnewbie on one
want to be regarded as aof the rules to be observed in the workplace. The
baby-sitter. But the fact remains, home parenting skillsprogrammer's biological
are at an all-time lowparents hadn't instructed him properly, now it defaulted
and to overcome this problem, someone has toto his corporate
assume the duty to compensateparent."Parenting Management" - Just remember, you
for this inadequacy. Again, the military readilyheard it here first.Tim Bryce is the Managing Director
understands this and has adaptedof M. Bryce & Associates (MBA) of
accordingly. But can business?Understand this,Palm Harbor, Florida and has 30 years of experience
corporate America's "recruits" come predominantlyin the field. He
from theis available for training and consulting on an
colleges and universities whose purpose is not tointernational basis.